A Real Life Photographer

‘I, I, I,’ I stammered. ‘I just want to be a real life photographer’. It’s what I said at least twice a day throughout college, sitting on our living room floor amidst anatomy and chemistry and biomechanics textbooks.

‘You know,’ I continued, ‘the kind that gets paid and travels the world and takes pictures of gorgeous people in love? That kind of photographer’.

And as my hobby developed into a dream and my dream developed into a business there were stages I envisioned reaching. They were the hypothetical goals I had come to believe would be making it. But every time I reached these said goals I didn’t feel quite the sense of accomplishment or security in my job that I had imagined. Of course, I thought, when I book my first destination wedding I will absolutely have made it. Or better yet, when I’m published in my first magazine I’ll definitely be there. Or how about if I’m featured on a major wedding blog? Well, there’s no doubt that that’ll be the day.

But it never seemed to be the right day or time or instance to feel safe.

Last month, as I climbed the fifteen foot ladder to take a group photo at Jeremy + Lindsey’s wedding, I couldn’t help but crack a smile. I looked below to hundreds of guests staring right back at me. And frozen in the sky I prayed to God above that they didn’t notice my shaking hands or see up the skirt I made a last minute decision to wear. And as the DJ prompted me to speak, I whispered, ever so faintly, asking the crowd to smile. It was completely unexpected and caught me totally off guard, but in a voice even more faint than my whisper to the crowd I heard myself say ‘You've got this. You’re a real life photographer.’

The truth is, I hope I never feel as though I’ve made it. I don’t ever want to stop striving to be better, to reach my next goal, or to take a prettier picture. And while this realization wasn't exactly what I thought it would look like, I'll admit that life hasn’t really turned out the way I expected it to either.

It’s turned into something considerably more beautiful than that.

Happy Monday, Michelle

The Great Escape : Pacific City, Oregon

It began with a neglected house on 12th & Jackson and over years of college papers, house dinners, and a million laughs and tears (but more laughs than tears), evolved into a friendship and bond like no other. And while I’ll never know how seven of the most independent and self-driven girls I know lived under the same room, sans drama, for three years, I do know that this friendship is one we cherish more than most anything in our lives. And now that we’ve finished our time at school and moved onto life’s next adventure we’ve decided that every year, no matter how far away or busy or crazy our life is, we must get together. This year’s inaugural great escape was simple - the beach, some wine, and each other. There’s a chance that one day we’ll be at a point in our lives where the beaches will get a little more exotic and the wine a little more expensive. But being completely honest I don’t think even the most luxurious of resorts could make us any more excited than we already are to spend a weekend together. That’s really the beauty of it all - no matter the country or venue or weather or season, together we can just be us.

There are people in your life you would do anything for. You’d climb mountains for them, swim oceans for them, cross deserts for them. In an instant and without a second thought you’d drop everything to be with them when they hurt. They’re the people you cry with, laugh with, and dream with...

These are definitely my people.

A little unexpected beach town decor...

...and a hand drawn picture for the guest book.

I think the following picture explains why I'm best left behind the camera, not in front of it.

Hannah, after wading through waist deep ocean to get to the sandbar...

...as our friends watch, dry, from the shore.

Love.

And I'll end with this picture because every time I look at it my heart smiles a big, happy smile. There really is nothing like a sunset dance on the beach.

Happy Monday, Michelle